Bed and Breakfast In France

Bed and Breakfast In Francehttp://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/The ups, downs and general inconveniences of running a bed and breakfast in France, and a few observations on life and dealing with things French.en-UKhourly82000-01-01T12:00+00:00Bed and Breakfast In Francehttp://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/0c/4415e5b180e134d20785952c7516c1_160x200.jpgas from todayhttp://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/as_from_today~186068/2005-09-17T06:55:55+02:00 <p class="center">Chateau Bigorre </p> <p class="center">is closed</p> <p class="center">until mid december</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/as_from_today~186068/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Chateau Bigorre

is closed

until mid december

]]>friday 16/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/16/friday_16_09~184180/2005-09-16T06:40:17+02:00 <p>Last day today and then we can close for a well earned break<br> The last of our “guests” leave tomorrow morning.</p> <p>If you’ve been reading this blog, you’re probably thinking I could never go and stay there or in any b&b (bed and breakfast) if that’s what they think about their “guests”.<br> My thoughts on people and things as written in this blog reflect in no way to the service we offer. A first class service is provided to everyone at all times, please rest assured that you’re most welcome. (unless canadian, some British especially with young children, oh and americans are usually not encouraged to book in the first place as we’re always full).<br> Off on hols. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/16/friday_16_09~184180/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Last day today and then we can close for a well earned break
The last of our “guests” leave tomorrow morning.

If you’ve been reading this blog, you’re probably thinking I could never go and stay there or in any b&b (bed and breakfast) if that’s what they think about their “guests”.
My thoughts on people and things as written in this blog reflect in no way to the service we offer. A first class service is provided to everyone at all times, please rest assured that you’re most welcome. (unless canadian, some British especially with young children, oh and americans are usually not encouraged to book in the first place as we’re always full).
Off on hols.

]]>Thursday 15/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/thursday_15_09~182208/2005-09-15T06:47:04+02:00 <p>Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer is talking about lagging the water pipes that we’ve had installed in the greenhouses for watering the cuttings and seedlings, he seems to think we’ll have a cold one this winter, he’s usually right about these things.<br> The mention of frozen pipes takes me back to our first year here at the chateau when our French wasn’t very good at all, we used to get into all sorts of situations with the language.<br> If we didn’t know the correct word to use we would use the English word for it but say it with a French accent, sometimes this worked other times it just led to further confusion.<br> It was winter and the whole region had a very cold period where temperatures got down to around minus 15 during the night, we had some frozen pipes which stayed frozen for two days so we ended up with no water supply to one end of the chateau, luckily we were closed and everything was ok for when we opened. Anyway on with the story,<br> We were chatting with a young French couple over dinner about how cold it had been before Christmas and it was mentioned that it was the coldest spell in over twenty years, it was quite late in the evening and I was quite tired, (its difficult to speak a foreign language when you’re tired ) anyway I mentioned about the temperature here and said “toutes nos pipes ont été gelées” (all our pipes were frozen)<br> I couldn’t instantly recall the French word for water piping so I used the English word pipes but pronounced it with a French accent (peeps).<br> We received a strange look and a slight smile from the young French couple and thought maybe they hadn’t quite understood our accent which was quite often the<br> case.<br> Thought no more about it, until a few weeks later we were watching a film with French subtitles on the tv (can’t remember the title) and at some point in the film the word “blowjob” was mentioned, in the subtitles the slang word for blowjob is, yes, …. “pipe”<br> I can imagine at future dinner parties the French couple telling their friends of that time when they’d stayed at that chateau with the strange English couple where it was so cold in winter that all their blowjobs were frozen.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/thursday_15_09~182208/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer is talking about lagging the water pipes that we’ve had installed in the greenhouses for watering the cuttings and seedlings, he seems to think we’ll have a cold one this winter, he’s usually right about these things.
The mention of frozen pipes takes me back to our first year here at the chateau when our French wasn’t very good at all, we used to get into all sorts of situations with the language.
If we didn’t know the correct word to use we would use the English word for it but say it with a French accent, sometimes this worked other times it just led to further confusion.
It was winter and the whole region had a very cold period where temperatures got down to around minus 15 during the night, we had some frozen pipes which stayed frozen for two days so we ended up with no water supply to one end of the chateau, luckily we were closed and everything was ok for when we opened. Anyway on with the story,
We were chatting with a young French couple over dinner about how cold it had been before Christmas and it was mentioned that it was the coldest spell in over twenty years, it was quite late in the evening and I was quite tired, (its difficult to speak a foreign language when you’re tired ) anyway I mentioned about the temperature here and said “toutes nos pipes ont été gelées” (all our pipes were frozen)
I couldn’t instantly recall the French word for water piping so I used the English word pipes but pronounced it with a French accent (peeps).
We received a strange look and a slight smile from the young French couple and thought maybe they hadn’t quite understood our accent which was quite often the
case.
Thought no more about it, until a few weeks later we were watching a film with French subtitles on the tv (can’t remember the title) and at some point in the film the word “blowjob” was mentioned, in the subtitles the slang word for blowjob is, yes, …. “pipe”
I can imagine at future dinner parties the French couple telling their friends of that time when they’d stayed at that chateau with the strange English couple where it was so cold in winter that all their blowjobs were frozen.

]]>wedneday 14/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/mercredi_14_09~180193/2005-09-14T06:26:47+02:00 <p>Three days to go</p> <p>About once a month a helicopter flies over the chateau and surrounding area, Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer tells me its doing an observation run on behalf of the departments tax authorities.<br> I ask him to elaborate<br> “well” he says, “you know how you have to fill in a form at the Marie (town hall) and wait for three months if you want to do any alterations to your house” “Yes” I say “these days” he continues “folk just please themselves and don’t go through the normal channels, its also becoming harder to find tradesmen to do the work for you even when you do get permission, so as a result people are having the work done on the black by immigrant workers from Portugal and Poland and the like”<br> “ok” I say “so where does the helicopter come in”<br> “Ahh, well, they’re checking to see if they can see any unauthorized work being done, they also take photos and some little bloke in an office compares them with last months pictures, if they see anything they think is suspicious the gendarmes pay you a friendly visit”<br> They’ve been doing this for the last two years now and to my knowledge have caught no-one</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/mercredi_14_09~180193/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Three days to go

About once a month a helicopter flies over the chateau and surrounding area, Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer tells me its doing an observation run on behalf of the departments tax authorities.
I ask him to elaborate
“well” he says, “you know how you have to fill in a form at the Marie (town hall) and wait for three months if you want to do any alterations to your house” “Yes” I say “these days” he continues “folk just please themselves and don’t go through the normal channels, its also becoming harder to find tradesmen to do the work for you even when you do get permission, so as a result people are having the work done on the black by immigrant workers from Portugal and Poland and the like”
“ok” I say “so where does the helicopter come in”
“Ahh, well, they’re checking to see if they can see any unauthorized work being done, they also take photos and some little bloke in an office compares them with last months pictures, if they see anything they think is suspicious the gendarmes pay you a friendly visit”
They’ve been doing this for the last two years now and to my knowledge have caught no-one

]]>Tuesday 13/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/tuesday_13_09~178064/2005-09-13T07:17:40+02:00 <p>Four days to go</p> <p>Its not the first time we’ve had an elderly British couple staying who’ve somehow managed to leave their room reeking of TCP, it lingers for hours and it isn’t even a nice smell.<br> What do they do with it anyway ???</p> <p>Anybody care to shed some light to this mystery </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/tuesday_13_09~178064/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Four days to go

Its not the first time we’ve had an elderly British couple staying who’ve somehow managed to leave their room reeking of TCP, it lingers for hours and it isn’t even a nice smell.
What do they do with it anyway ???

Anybody care to shed some light to this mystery

]]>Monday 12/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/12/monday_12_09~175994/2005-09-12T07:13:26+02:00 <p>Well, its funny how hunting season always starts on a Sunday, as usual for the first day of hunting we didn’t bag anything, we never have, the hunt has been going for nearly 200 years in this village and nothing has ever been caught on the first day, mind you no-one really tries, its usually just an excuse for a lunch out in the chateau grounds.<br> My day started at 5am getting breakfast ready for the city nobs, afterwards everybody started assembling outside in front of the chateau when at 7am M. Latapie officially signaled the start by blowing his hunting horn, the old horn is a very strange twisted thing and sounds rather like an elephant with a sneezing fit, this sent the dogs into a wild barking frenzy.<br> We then proceeded in our 4x4s across the fields to the forest where the dogs were then taken to one end and let loose, the idea is that the dogs run through and flush anything out. The dogs are muzzled so as not to attack anything or anyone. M Latapie blows his horn again signaling the start of the hunt and the dogs are sent through the forest towards him and all the guys with guns who are lying in wait at the other end of the forest ready to shoot anything that comes out.<br> One of the city nobs shot three trees, “they moved” he claimed, and another got lost for two hours in the forest, apparently when he’d lost sight of the main group, he decided to stay put as he was worried he might get shot if he moved around (probably the best thing he could have done), he waited until he heard the horn being blown signaling the end of the hunt and tried making his way towards where he thought the noise had come from only to find he was back on the opposite side of the forest, we heard him blowing his whistle so we found him before the feast was served.<br> Lunch was served on large tressle tables at 2pm, the villagers wives appeared with piles of food, enough to feed a small country and we supplied the wine. It’s something which the whole of the village takes part in and is really just a good excuse for a social gathering and a piss up.<br> 5;30pm in the afternoon and we’re all saying our farewells<br> “Next week my boy” says M. Daleas “ we’ll try again next week”.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/12/monday_12_09~175994/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Well, its funny how hunting season always starts on a Sunday, as usual for the first day of hunting we didn’t bag anything, we never have, the hunt has been going for nearly 200 years in this village and nothing has ever been caught on the first day, mind you no-one really tries, its usually just an excuse for a lunch out in the chateau grounds.
My day started at 5am getting breakfast ready for the city nobs, afterwards everybody started assembling outside in front of the chateau when at 7am M. Latapie officially signaled the start by blowing his hunting horn, the old horn is a very strange twisted thing and sounds rather like an elephant with a sneezing fit, this sent the dogs into a wild barking frenzy.
We then proceeded in our 4x4s across the fields to the forest where the dogs were then taken to one end and let loose, the idea is that the dogs run through and flush anything out. The dogs are muzzled so as not to attack anything or anyone. M Latapie blows his horn again signaling the start of the hunt and the dogs are sent through the forest towards him and all the guys with guns who are lying in wait at the other end of the forest ready to shoot anything that comes out.
One of the city nobs shot three trees, “they moved” he claimed, and another got lost for two hours in the forest, apparently when he’d lost sight of the main group, he decided to stay put as he was worried he might get shot if he moved around (probably the best thing he could have done), he waited until he heard the horn being blown signaling the end of the hunt and tried making his way towards where he thought the noise had come from only to find he was back on the opposite side of the forest, we heard him blowing his whistle so we found him before the feast was served.
Lunch was served on large tressle tables at 2pm, the villagers wives appeared with piles of food, enough to feed a small country and we supplied the wine. It’s something which the whole of the village takes part in and is really just a good excuse for a social gathering and a piss up.
5;30pm in the afternoon and we’re all saying our farewells
“Next week my boy” says M. Daleas “ we’ll try again next week”.

]]>sunday 10/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/sunday_10_09~172941/2005-09-10T16:27:48+02:00 <p>As I have to be up at half past stupid o’clock tomorrow morning to prepare for the days hunting I thought that I’d post tomorrows post today, but I’ll use tomorrows date for todays post about tomorrow so that everyone who looks at my posts on a daily basis wont be disappointed that there isn’t a post today, or is that tomorrow. !!!!??<br> I’ve confused myself so much that I’ve forgotten what I was going to say.<br> Have a good weekend<br> Speak to you all on Monday.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/sunday_10_09~172941/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>As I have to be up at half past stupid o’clock tomorrow morning to prepare for the days hunting I thought that I’d post tomorrows post today, but I’ll use tomorrows date for todays post about tomorrow so that everyone who looks at my posts on a daily basis wont be disappointed that there isn’t a post today, or is that tomorrow. !!!!??
I’ve confused myself so much that I’ve forgotten what I was going to say.
Have a good weekend
Speak to you all on Monday.

]]>saturday 10/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/saturday_10_09~172369/2005-09-10T06:54:38+02:00 <p>Spent yesterday morning out in the forest with Jean-Pierre clearing the ground and preparing the hides for the hunt, we finished off by collecting some cepes (large brown wild mushrooms also called boletes) the ground is covered with them at this time of year. If you want to find them you normally have to get out early in the morning as most of the villagers are partial to a cepe or 10, and it can often get quite busy out there at this time of year, they’re quite pricy at the market so if anyone can find them for free then they’re on to a winner.<br> Walnuts and sweet chestnuts as well (although it’s a bit early yet), we normally have thousands of them, we hang them up to dry in one of the outhouses in large wire mesh containers, they have to be wire mesh as the red squirrels and <a href="http://www.the-piedpiper.co.uk/th1l.htm">glis-glis</a> will try and steal them, they’re usually dry and ready to eat by Christmas, then there’s all the blackberries, Suzette, John-Pierres’ wife makes potloads of homemade jams that we serve at the breakfast table, there’s always enough to last all year, and not forgetting her nearly famous pork, cepe and walnut pate which always goes down a treat.</p> <p>When we first arrived here I hadn’t a clue as to which mushroom to pick, but I seem to be getting the idea slowly as we havn’t killed anybody…. yet ,<br> well not this year anyway, no,no my little joke ha ha.<br> Here in France we can take our bag of strange mushrooms and bizarre fungi along to the local chemist who is qualified to identify them, it’s a free service and if anybody dies as a result of eating the wrong one, its her fault, or at least I hope it is, there’s only a few that are considered ultra toxic the others are fine to eat if cooked in a certain way. Even though John-Pierre and Suzette say they are all ok, we do like to double check !!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/saturday_10_09~172369/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Spent yesterday morning out in the forest with Jean-Pierre clearing the ground and preparing the hides for the hunt, we finished off by collecting some cepes (large brown wild mushrooms also called boletes) the ground is covered with them at this time of year. If you want to find them you normally have to get out early in the morning as most of the villagers are partial to a cepe or 10, and it can often get quite busy out there at this time of year, they’re quite pricy at the market so if anyone can find them for free then they’re on to a winner.
Walnuts and sweet chestnuts as well (although it’s a bit early yet), we normally have thousands of them, we hang them up to dry in one of the outhouses in large wire mesh containers, they have to be wire mesh as the red squirrels and glis-glis will try and steal them, they’re usually dry and ready to eat by Christmas, then there’s all the blackberries, Suzette, John-Pierres’ wife makes potloads of homemade jams that we serve at the breakfast table, there’s always enough to last all year, and not forgetting her nearly famous pork, cepe and walnut pate which always goes down a treat.

When we first arrived here I hadn’t a clue as to which mushroom to pick, but I seem to be getting the idea slowly as we havn’t killed anybody…. yet ,
well not this year anyway, no,no my little joke ha ha.
Here in France we can take our bag of strange mushrooms and bizarre fungi along to the local chemist who is qualified to identify them, it’s a free service and if anybody dies as a result of eating the wrong one, its her fault, or at least I hope it is, there’s only a few that are considered ultra toxic the others are fine to eat if cooked in a certain way. Even though John-Pierre and Suzette say they are all ok, we do like to double check !!

]]>Friday 09/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/friday_09_09~170513/2005-09-09T06:32:25+02:00 <p>She really is the “guest” from hell. This is the only time I’ve hidden from somebody in my own home, normally a two minute chat on how the day has been is enough, no not with this one, 35 minutes later and she pauses for breath long enough for me to say I have to get ……. (what I’m trying to say is I have to get on with preparing for dinner if you would excuse me)<br> I’m currently hiding up in my study which is above the hallway in a little turret with panoramic views of the grounds, it’s very handy and strategically placed so I can see down the drive of all the incomings and outgoings.<br> Our single american lady has insisted on using English, well a sort of English, all the time to everyone, not so much as a bonjour to our French “guests”, it really pisses me off that people come to France and can’t even manage a bonjour at least.</p> <p>a few of the comments made by her over the last couple of days</p> <p>“Who can I call to get food delivered to my room for the night you don’t do dinner”</p> <p>“Could you ask your man to fetch my car round”</p> <p>“Do you accept dollars?”<br> (I guess at least she asked and not just assumed we would accept them)</p> <p>“why are all the shops closed at lunchtime ?”</p> <p>“If I phone home now will my sister be in ?” (???????)</p> <p>I can see why she’s traveling on her own.<br> The words of that great philosopher of our time Mr David Bowie spring to mind<br> “This is not America “</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/friday_09_09~170513/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>She really is the “guest” from hell. This is the only time I’ve hidden from somebody in my own home, normally a two minute chat on how the day has been is enough, no not with this one, 35 minutes later and she pauses for breath long enough for me to say I have to get ……. (what I’m trying to say is I have to get on with preparing for dinner if you would excuse me)
I’m currently hiding up in my study which is above the hallway in a little turret with panoramic views of the grounds, it’s very handy and strategically placed so I can see down the drive of all the incomings and outgoings.
Our single american lady has insisted on using English, well a sort of English, all the time to everyone, not so much as a bonjour to our French “guests”, it really pisses me off that people come to France and can’t even manage a bonjour at least.

a few of the comments made by her over the last couple of days

“Who can I call to get food delivered to my room for the night you don’t do dinner”

“Could you ask your man to fetch my car round”

“Do you accept dollars?”
(I guess at least she asked and not just assumed we would accept them)

“why are all the shops closed at lunchtime ?”

“If I phone home now will my sister be in ?” (???????)

I can see why she’s traveling on her own.
The words of that great philosopher of our time Mr David Bowie spring to mind
“This is not America “

]]>Thursday 08/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/08/thursday_08_09~168690/2005-09-08T06:46:55+02:00 <p>Hunting season starts on Sunday 11th and as usual we have all our rooms fully booked, well in advance, by a group of people from Toulouse, the guys are here purely for the hunting and the wives well they’ll just relax by the pool or in the hot tub until the “apreschasse” lunch has been prepared.<br> It’s the same group as were here last year, they’re all city nobs and prance around in their shiny new hunting gear with their guns that are too flashy to use, last year it was very wet and one got his townie 4x4 stuck in a puddle, another fell over in a ditch and cut his ear quite badly, typical townies having their weekend hunting in the country, there’s never a dull moment as the local villagers are always taking the piss and showing them up in some way or another.<br> It’s a good job that we havn’t got any normal tourists staying as the hunting crowd can be quite loud especially with an early start on the Sunday morning, I’ll tell you how it went on Monday morning.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/08/thursday_08_09~168690/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Hunting season starts on Sunday 11th and as usual we have all our rooms fully booked, well in advance, by a group of people from Toulouse, the guys are here purely for the hunting and the wives well they’ll just relax by the pool or in the hot tub until the “apreschasse” lunch has been prepared.
It’s the same group as were here last year, they’re all city nobs and prance around in their shiny new hunting gear with their guns that are too flashy to use, last year it was very wet and one got his townie 4x4 stuck in a puddle, another fell over in a ditch and cut his ear quite badly, typical townies having their weekend hunting in the country, there’s never a dull moment as the local villagers are always taking the piss and showing them up in some way or another.
It’s a good job that we havn’t got any normal tourists staying as the hunting crowd can be quite loud especially with an early start on the Sunday morning, I’ll tell you how it went on Monday morning.

]]>wednesday 07/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/07/wednesday_07_09~166578/2005-09-07T06:33:43+02:00 <p>Got a couple of women staying from Lesbania, they’re not the first, and probably not the last.<br> Chatting over dinner and one of them was bragging about how wealthy she was and how they had staff to do the cooking and cleaning, she asked how we managed to keep our home so clean, after all it is a big place, Oh I said a bit like you really “Yes” she said “Yes I have a woman in once or twice a week”.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/07/wednesday_07_09~166578/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Got a couple of women staying from Lesbania, they’re not the first, and probably not the last.
Chatting over dinner and one of them was bragging about how wealthy she was and how they had staff to do the cooking and cleaning, she asked how we managed to keep our home so clean, after all it is a big place, Oh I said a bit like you really “Yes” she said “Yes I have a woman in once or twice a week”.

]]>Tuesday 06/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/06/tuesday_06_09~164797/2005-09-06T06:32:53+02:00 <p>They just shouldn’t be allowed out on their own.<br> “Who’s that then” I hear you say.<br> Americans !!, to be precise single american women of a certain age.<br> We could tell that the one that we’ve got staying at the moment was going to be trouble when she said that she was too tired to move her car from the front steps so being the gentleman I am I offered to drive it round the back to the garages for her, “ooh can you drive a manual” she drawled “I’ll manage” I said. hhmmm<br> She doesn’t like driving although she’s driven down from Paris (that’s 750km) and has moaned like hell about having to go out to a restaurant 3km away for lunch (we are not allowed to serve lunches), then they wouldn’t accept her american debit card, “they do everywhere else” she insists, Paris maybe but here in rural France you’re lucky if they accept an international credit card. So we’ve sent her off to big town to the main bank with all her cards to draw some cash out, armed with directions and maps, the last thing she said as she walked out of the door was “ I don’t know how I’m going to manage driving round town, where can I park, what if I get lost, what time is it, ooh I’ve forgotten my 18 hour girdle, no wait a minute I’ve got it on”.<br> She’s also been whinging about having to carry all her camera gear and tripod around with her, “how can I carry all this as well as my rucksack with water and raincoat”<br> Four more days of it yet so I’m sure I’ll have more to add as we go along.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/06/tuesday_06_09~164797/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>They just shouldn’t be allowed out on their own.
“Who’s that then” I hear you say.
Americans !!, to be precise single american women of a certain age.
We could tell that the one that we’ve got staying at the moment was going to be trouble when she said that she was too tired to move her car from the front steps so being the gentleman I am I offered to drive it round the back to the garages for her, “ooh can you drive a manual” she drawled “I’ll manage” I said. hhmmm
She doesn’t like driving although she’s driven down from Paris (that’s 750km) and has moaned like hell about having to go out to a restaurant 3km away for lunch (we are not allowed to serve lunches), then they wouldn’t accept her american debit card, “they do everywhere else” she insists, Paris maybe but here in rural France you’re lucky if they accept an international credit card. So we’ve sent her off to big town to the main bank with all her cards to draw some cash out, armed with directions and maps, the last thing she said as she walked out of the door was “ I don’t know how I’m going to manage driving round town, where can I park, what if I get lost, what time is it, ooh I’ve forgotten my 18 hour girdle, no wait a minute I’ve got it on”.
She’s also been whinging about having to carry all her camera gear and tripod around with her, “how can I carry all this as well as my rucksack with water and raincoat”
Four more days of it yet so I’m sure I’ll have more to add as we go along.

]]>Monday 05/09/08http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/05/monday_05_09~162962/2005-09-05T06:32:43+02:00 <p>Count down to holidays.<br> 10 Days to go, 10 days to go<br> My (not very exiting) Sunday.<br> After getting up at half past stupid o’clock yesterday to do breakfast for two couples at 6am as they had to get back to Paris for the evening, I was at a loss by 6:45 as the other couple we had staying were typically having their breakfast at 10:00, so after updating my blog I decided to make a start on cleaning the windows, not a job to be taken lightly, here it takes two days to do the ones that the “guests” look out of, I’ve never actually done them all in one go as in total there are 140 openings each with two windows, half of them have 6 panes and the other half have 4, so that’s erm, erm, a lot.<br> Anyway in two and a half hours I’d done 20 openings, that’s 40 windows or 240 panes of glass which I thought wasn’t bad going for a bloke, then served breakfast to the other couple after that popped out to bigtown to the supermarket ( a large French chain called C<strong>*</strong>*n ,rhymes with campion and means “the best, the winner”) to buy some stuff.<br> Now this supermarket is not one I go to on a regular basis but on this Sunday it happened to be the only thing open, as I walked past the bread section there was this elderly guy complaining about the fact that they had only got yesterdays stale bread on sale, I went on past the manky looking vegetable section to the large refrigerated meat cabinets where I found one of the things I was looking for, however it was 2 days past its use by date so I put it back, on closer inspection all the meat products were passed their expiry date and some were looking pretty bad to say the least, I know it’s a Sunday but selling stale bread and rotting meat, it was a bit off (pun intended), on exiting the store I looked for their suggestion box, oddly enough they didn’t have one. Got back home and found that we’d just received a booking for a single american woman for four nights coming in this evening. (oh what joy !!.) And it was still only 11:30. Exercised the quad (this is essential, believe me, they seize up if not used every three days, at least that’s what I tell my wife) and took the dogs out for a run in the fields. Then sat down and had some lunch, checked up on my friends blogs and a few others I’ve been leaving comments on recently, and then crashed out on the terrace by the pool where I briefly fell asleep dreaming of white sandy Seychellean beaches and the warm Indian ocean.<br> Woke up at 3:30pm and……..<br> I really don’t know where I’m going with this posting so I’ll leave it there.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/05/monday_05_09~162962/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Count down to holidays.
10 Days to go, 10 days to go
My (not very exiting) Sunday.
After getting up at half past stupid o’clock yesterday to do breakfast for two couples at 6am as they had to get back to Paris for the evening, I was at a loss by 6:45 as the other couple we had staying were typically having their breakfast at 10:00, so after updating my blog I decided to make a start on cleaning the windows, not a job to be taken lightly, here it takes two days to do the ones that the “guests” look out of, I’ve never actually done them all in one go as in total there are 140 openings each with two windows, half of them have 6 panes and the other half have 4, so that’s erm, erm, a lot.
Anyway in two and a half hours I’d done 20 openings, that’s 40 windows or 240 panes of glass which I thought wasn’t bad going for a bloke, then served breakfast to the other couple after that popped out to bigtown to the supermarket ( a large French chain called C**n ,rhymes with campion and means “the best, the winner”) to buy some stuff.
Now this supermarket is not one I go to on a regular basis but on this Sunday it happened to be the only thing open, as I walked past the bread section there was this elderly guy complaining about the fact that they had only got yesterdays stale bread on sale, I went on past the manky looking vegetable section to the large refrigerated meat cabinets where I found one of the things I was looking for, however it was 2 days past its use by date so I put it back, on closer inspection all the meat products were passed their expiry date and some were looking pretty bad to say the least, I know it’s a Sunday but selling stale bread and rotting meat, it was a bit off (pun intended), on exiting the store I looked for their suggestion box, oddly enough they didn’t have one. Got back home and found that we’d just received a booking for a single american woman for four nights coming in this evening. (oh what joy !!.) And it was still only 11:30. Exercised the quad (this is essential, believe me, they seize up if not used every three days, at least that’s what I tell my wife) and took the dogs out for a run in the fields. Then sat down and had some lunch, checked up on my friends blogs and a few others I’ve been leaving comments on recently, and then crashed out on the terrace by the pool where I briefly fell asleep dreaming of white sandy Seychellean beaches and the warm Indian ocean.
Woke up at 3:30pm and……..
I really don’t know where I’m going with this posting so I’ll leave it there.

]]>Sunday 04/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/04/sunday_04_09~160853/2005-09-04T06:16:20+02:00 <p>Turned out that our Psychiatrist was the monsieur and he’s retired, we also had another couple who’d booked in for the same few days who it turned out were friends of theirs, he is a retired dentist, and they were all here to celebrate the 70th birthday of two of them. Surprisingly nothing untoward happened during their stay and I think we managed to fool them into thinking we were relatively normal, well as normal as a couple of Brits in France could be.<br> Conversation over dinners the last couple of nights has been ok with the usual questions aimed at why we came to France, why this particular area, etc, our previous jobs and stuff about our lives in England before France, each response we made was followed by a hhhmmm and the occasional raising of an eyebrow as if mental notes were being made for a final written report.<br> When they came to leave no report was presented to us and no recommendations for therapy were given, I guess he must have retired after all. He did however say he would be recommending us to all his friends and colleagues.<br> Whatever that meant !!!!</p> <p>Later whilst cleaning the Psychiatrists room after they had left we found a few strange things, on the table in their room were a large number of cut up photos, one had just a set of eyes, another with the top of a head, a neck, chin, etc etc all from the different faces of the four of them. What’s that all about ? Analyze that if you can!!<br> Another thing we found was a piece of paper under the bed with a website url on,<br> don’t know if it was left there on purpose, or…<br> ….is he trying to tell us something,<br> ….or is it just me,<br> ….or is it my wife,<br> maybe I should phone him and ask,<br> no that’s silly, I’ll only have to clean the phone again and I’ve done it twice today already.<br> who said that ?<br> not me<br> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh !!!</p> <p>I was fine until they came here …….honest!!!<br> Here’s the url ,<br> see what you think<br> <a href="http://www.drleons.com/therapy/ocd/ocd.htm">http://www.drleons.com/therapy/ocd/ocd.htm</a> </p> <p>maybe I’ll just e mail it back to him in case HE needs it.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/04/sunday_04_09~160853/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Turned out that our Psychiatrist was the monsieur and he’s retired, we also had another couple who’d booked in for the same few days who it turned out were friends of theirs, he is a retired dentist, and they were all here to celebrate the 70th birthday of two of them. Surprisingly nothing untoward happened during their stay and I think we managed to fool them into thinking we were relatively normal, well as normal as a couple of Brits in France could be.
Conversation over dinners the last couple of nights has been ok with the usual questions aimed at why we came to France, why this particular area, etc, our previous jobs and stuff about our lives in England before France, each response we made was followed by a hhhmmm and the occasional raising of an eyebrow as if mental notes were being made for a final written report.
When they came to leave no report was presented to us and no recommendations for therapy were given, I guess he must have retired after all. He did however say he would be recommending us to all his friends and colleagues.
Whatever that meant !!!!

Later whilst cleaning the Psychiatrists room after they had left we found a few strange things, on the table in their room were a large number of cut up photos, one had just a set of eyes, another with the top of a head, a neck, chin, etc etc all from the different faces of the four of them. What’s that all about ? Analyze that if you can!!
Another thing we found was a piece of paper under the bed with a website url on,
don’t know if it was left there on purpose, or…
….is he trying to tell us something,
….or is it just me,
….or is it my wife,
maybe I should phone him and ask,
no that’s silly, I’ll only have to clean the phone again and I’ve done it twice today already.
who said that ?
not me
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh !!!

I was fine until they came here …….honest!!!
Here’s the url ,
see what you think
http://www.drleons.com/therapy/ocd/ocd.htm

maybe I’ll just e mail it back to him in case HE needs it.

]]>Saturday 03/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/03/saturday_03_09~159102/2005-09-03T07:07:13+02:00 <p>An update on my post <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/main/index.php/bedandbreakfastinfrance/2005/08/11/ ">Thursday 11/08/05</a> </p> <p>Seems after many years of writing letters and chasing paperwork around various departments Lou-Lou has finally got permission for his “home made honey” sign to be put up 100m from his house, after submitting drawings of the exact positioning of the sign he finally received authorization from big city d.d.e.<br> However it was not just going to be as straight forward as that, no, not in France,<br> He fixed the panel using galvanized metal poles concreted into the ground in exactly the right spot, the next day (once the concrete had dried) the local d.d.e. from bigtown came round and told him he couldn’t put his sign there and it had to be removed at once.<br> Lou-Lou took out all his correspondence together with official rubber stamped plans and drawings, look here I have all the permission and everything,<br> hhhmm the guy says<br> ( he obviously had no idea of the permission being granted and as usual acted on impulse, he had now been put in a tricky position and needed to act quickly to save face)<br> after measuring the distances carefully the official looks up and says<br> “OK you have to move the sign a further 25cm from the road”.</p> <p>Jobsworth !!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/03/saturday_03_09~159102/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>An update on my post Thursday 11/08/05

Seems after many years of writing letters and chasing paperwork around various departments Lou-Lou has finally got permission for his “home made honey” sign to be put up 100m from his house, after submitting drawings of the exact positioning of the sign he finally received authorization from big city d.d.e.
However it was not just going to be as straight forward as that, no, not in France,
He fixed the panel using galvanized metal poles concreted into the ground in exactly the right spot, the next day (once the concrete had dried) the local d.d.e. from bigtown came round and told him he couldn’t put his sign there and it had to be removed at once.
Lou-Lou took out all his correspondence together with official rubber stamped plans and drawings, look here I have all the permission and everything,
hhhmm the guy says
( he obviously had no idea of the permission being granted and as usual acted on impulse, he had now been put in a tricky position and needed to act quickly to save face)
after measuring the distances carefully the official looks up and says
“OK you have to move the sign a further 25cm from the road”.

Jobsworth !!!

]]>Friday 02/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/02/friday_02_09~157171/2005-09-02T06:28:12+02:00 <p>Soon be hunting season again, they tend to leave it until tourist season is over as the locals aren’t too fussy about what/who they shoot, if it moves its considered fair game.<br> This year there’s been a big recruitment drive by the hunting community aimed at keeping the hunt alive by encouraging younger people to join in.<br> That’s it, gives the kids guns and fierce dogs and let them loose in the community.<br> I’m sure that’s not quite what they had in mind but they are visiting schools and explaining about the benefits of what it can mean to be a member of the hunt, apart from free wild boar and venison meat for the whole of winter can you think of anything else ?<br> The dogs are used for tracking but do not kill the animal that’s left to the guys and their guns.<br> Our local village hunt has ancient rights to the use of twenty hectares of chateau land to the east of the estate, 25% of the “takings” have to be given to the current landowner (ME).<br> Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer has for years been keeping boars and deer on chateau land for this sole use, so in effect I’m being given 25% of my own boars and deer back to me for the privilege of allowing the hunt to use my land, or to put it another way I’m giving away 75% of my boars and deer to the villagers.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/02/friday_02_09~157171/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Soon be hunting season again, they tend to leave it until tourist season is over as the locals aren’t too fussy about what/who they shoot, if it moves its considered fair game.
This year there’s been a big recruitment drive by the hunting community aimed at keeping the hunt alive by encouraging younger people to join in.
That’s it, gives the kids guns and fierce dogs and let them loose in the community.
I’m sure that’s not quite what they had in mind but they are visiting schools and explaining about the benefits of what it can mean to be a member of the hunt, apart from free wild boar and venison meat for the whole of winter can you think of anything else ?
The dogs are used for tracking but do not kill the animal that’s left to the guys and their guns.
Our local village hunt has ancient rights to the use of twenty hectares of chateau land to the east of the estate, 25% of the “takings” have to be given to the current landowner (ME).
Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer has for years been keeping boars and deer on chateau land for this sole use, so in effect I’m being given 25% of my own boars and deer back to me for the privilege of allowing the hunt to use my land, or to put it another way I’m giving away 75% of my boars and deer to the villagers.

]]>Thursday 01/09/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/thursday_01_09~155240/2005-09-01T06:28:59+02:00 <p>Fifteen days to go, fifteen days to go etc etc. (zzzzz)<br> Really starting to feel tired now, its been 15-18 hour days every day since the beginning of May with no day off,(zzzzzz) although on the odd afternoon about once a week I manage to get an hours nap in.(zzzzzzzz)</p> <p>I sometimes wonder (zzzzzzzzz) why we do this to ourselves, (zzzzzzzzzzzz)<br> <em>Then I think about all the wonderful and interesting people we meet and what a pleasure it is to be of service and give people such a wonderful holiday.</em><br> I’m woken by my wife who tells me that the water in the outdoor pool has been turned purple again by one of the “guests” peeing in it.</p> <p>It was all just a dream !!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/thursday_01_09~155240/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Fifteen days to go, fifteen days to go etc etc. (zzzzz)
Really starting to feel tired now, its been 15-18 hour days every day since the beginning of May with no day off,(zzzzzz) although on the odd afternoon about once a week I manage to get an hours nap in.(zzzzzzzz)

I sometimes wonder (zzzzzzzzz) why we do this to ourselves, (zzzzzzzzzzzz)
Then I think about all the wonderful and interesting people we meet and what a pleasure it is to be of service and give people such a wonderful holiday.
I’m woken by my wife who tells me that the water in the outdoor pool has been turned purple again by one of the “guests” peeing in it.

It was all just a dream !!!

]]>Wednesday 31/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/31/wednesday_31_08~153048/2005-08-31T06:40:54+02:00 <p>Would you believe it !!!</p> <p>We’ve actually got a Psychiatrist and his wife coming in today, or is it a Psychiatrist and her husband, or…. are they both Doctors ????<br> I’m sure I can provide them with enough material to fill a conference !!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/31/wednesday_31_08~153048/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Would you believe it !!!

We’ve actually got a Psychiatrist and his wife coming in today, or is it a Psychiatrist and her husband, or…. are they both Doctors ????
I’m sure I can provide them with enough material to fill a conference !!!

]]>Tuesday 30/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/tuesday_30_08~150825/2005-08-30T06:45:38+02:00 <p>French women, just an observation but at least they wear clothes that fit them, I’ve noticed my wife also, since we’ve been living in France for some time and her old UK wardrobe has worn out, even her clothes fit her these days, I guess it must be the cut of the cloth or leather or plastic or…..oops got a bit carried away then.<br> Most of the British women we’ve had staying with us this year have dressed like bag ladies, very sloppy ill fitting clothes and as for the guys, well…….DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, wear socks with sandals or shorts that go down below your knees, have you any idea how ridiculous you look, especially when you’re a 50 year old Physics teacher from Liverpool.<br> Mr F.<br> I will be sending a written report to the Fashion Police.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/tuesday_30_08~150825/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>French women, just an observation but at least they wear clothes that fit them, I’ve noticed my wife also, since we’ve been living in France for some time and her old UK wardrobe has worn out, even her clothes fit her these days, I guess it must be the cut of the cloth or leather or plastic or…..oops got a bit carried away then.
Most of the British women we’ve had staying with us this year have dressed like bag ladies, very sloppy ill fitting clothes and as for the guys, well…….DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, wear socks with sandals or shorts that go down below your knees, have you any idea how ridiculous you look, especially when you’re a 50 year old Physics teacher from Liverpool.
Mr F.
I will be sending a written report to the Fashion Police.

]]>Monday 29/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/29/monday_29_08~148612/2005-08-29T07:23:40+02:00 <p>Group bookings, what an absolute nightmare.<br> When you first take the booking for five of your six rooms for two nights with evening meals, the first thing you think about is the money, we’ve done a few in the past, different nationalities and they all end up the same, that is well and truly taking over your home and proceedings.<br> Here’s the latest example of what I mean.<br> We have just done a booking for a group from Toulouse 6 adults and 4 children of varying ages from 2 to 15yrs old, from the second they arrived they took over, completely ignoring all we told them about where to put things and which rooms have been allocated to them, private areas of the house etc etc.<br> We also have a Belgian couple staying in the sixth room who’ve been here for four days and have a further 6 days left with us. Dinner last night was hell, and due to the group size we were unable to join them, so we were reduced to the status of “Waiter” for the evening. As normal we had explained to the group on arrival that if they wished to partake of an aperitif these would be served at 7:30, usually on the terrace or if wet in the drawing room / library, the children since arrival had been tearing around the place with speed and noise worthy of a wildebeest migration being chased by a pride of lions. Three out of the six adults were on time-ish along with the Belgians, so drinks were poured and snacks being snacked, I explained that dinner would most certainly be on time at 8pm this evening due to it being herb soufflés to start and trout poached in a local white wine for the main course, everything being timed to perfection. The rest of the group turn up in dribs and drabs, some leave, others come in and go out again, two minutes to go and I go back out onto the terrace to usher everybody into the dining room and find that there are still three children missing, I ask one of the group if he could kindly go and fetch the rest as I was about to bring in the starter, off he goes, I seat the rest around the huge table in the west wing dining room, and off I go into the kitchen to bring out the soufflés. All the soufflés perfectly formed at their optimum serving temperature, they are placed on the place mats (usually lasting a few minutes before collapsing), still four people missing, so I ask the others to please start which they duly do. Fifteen minutes later, the guy returns with the three children, seems as though one had scaled the pool fence and couldn’t get back out again, I didn’t really listen to rest of the story, the Frenchman looks at what was a perfect soufflé and laughs, saying “so M.Le President was right when he said you British cannot cook proper food”, his wife nudged him sharply saying it was ok when it was brought out from the kitchen, the French guy then starts shouting at the children , how dare they ruin his dinner etc etc, my wife by this time has cooked one more as she had some mixture left over so we give this to the guy and for now he’s happy, we take away the childrens’ flat tyre soufflés and give them some of Suzettes home made pâté instead. All this has made the main course a little late and to keep the trout warm and still moist without overcooking it has been a miracle. After clearing the plates (the children eat bugger all as was expected, at least the dogs will be happy) I enter the dining room with the huge “trout kettle” and place it on the table, always an impressive moment as the lid is removed sending wafts of wine filled steam across the table towards the seated guests, the children have again disappeared and one of the adults is missing, so I cut into the trout and serve it into adult and child size portions and leave the rest in the centre of the table for them to help themselves, and so it goes on all through the meal, children running around, people missing each course getting later and later as we’re forced to wait for “the group”, the whole evening is a nightmare, dinner finished at 11pm and we finally end up getting to bed at two in the morning having waited up until the last of them has gone up to bed. Oh and they also announce that two of the adults would like an early breakfast at 7am as they would like to go fishing and the rest of them will be down at 10:30, “no problem” I say “goodnight, sleep well”<br> Next morning one of the two guys who had asked for breakfast at 7 turned up at 8:30 ( after I’d got up at 5;45 to get breakfast ready for them) saying they had decided not to go fishing and to have a lie in instead, so he goes back to bed and I’m left with two wasted breakfasts, the two Belgians come down at 8:45 and while chatting to them I ask if they will be joining us for dinner this evening, “not if the other group is” they say “yes I’m afraid they are” I reply.<br> So we’re left with an unimpressed Belgian couple.<br> Finally at 10:30 and nearly all the group are down for breakfast or is it lunch !, after 20 minutes of undecidedness as to what the group are going to have to drink I make my way into the kitchen to prepare them and an image of Basil Fawlty jumping up and down like a frog with his arms over his head enters my thoughts.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/29/monday_29_08~148612/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Group bookings, what an absolute nightmare.
When you first take the booking for five of your six rooms for two nights with evening meals, the first thing you think about is the money, we’ve done a few in the past, different nationalities and they all end up the same, that is well and truly taking over your home and proceedings.
Here’s the latest example of what I mean.
We have just done a booking for a group from Toulouse 6 adults and 4 children of varying ages from 2 to 15yrs old, from the second they arrived they took over, completely ignoring all we told them about where to put things and which rooms have been allocated to them, private areas of the house etc etc.
We also have a Belgian couple staying in the sixth room who’ve been here for four days and have a further 6 days left with us. Dinner last night was hell, and due to the group size we were unable to join them, so we were reduced to the status of “Waiter” for the evening. As normal we had explained to the group on arrival that if they wished to partake of an aperitif these would be served at 7:30, usually on the terrace or if wet in the drawing room / library, the children since arrival had been tearing around the place with speed and noise worthy of a wildebeest migration being chased by a pride of lions. Three out of the six adults were on time-ish along with the Belgians, so drinks were poured and snacks being snacked, I explained that dinner would most certainly be on time at 8pm this evening due to it being herb soufflés to start and trout poached in a local white wine for the main course, everything being timed to perfection. The rest of the group turn up in dribs and drabs, some leave, others come in and go out again, two minutes to go and I go back out onto the terrace to usher everybody into the dining room and find that there are still three children missing, I ask one of the group if he could kindly go and fetch the rest as I was about to bring in the starter, off he goes, I seat the rest around the huge table in the west wing dining room, and off I go into the kitchen to bring out the soufflés. All the soufflés perfectly formed at their optimum serving temperature, they are placed on the place mats (usually lasting a few minutes before collapsing), still four people missing, so I ask the others to please start which they duly do. Fifteen minutes later, the guy returns with the three children, seems as though one had scaled the pool fence and couldn’t get back out again, I didn’t really listen to rest of the story, the Frenchman looks at what was a perfect soufflé and laughs, saying “so M.Le President was right when he said you British cannot cook proper food”, his wife nudged him sharply saying it was ok when it was brought out from the kitchen, the French guy then starts shouting at the children , how dare they ruin his dinner etc etc, my wife by this time has cooked one more as she had some mixture left over so we give this to the guy and for now he’s happy, we take away the childrens’ flat tyre soufflés and give them some of Suzettes home made pâté instead. All this has made the main course a little late and to keep the trout warm and still moist without overcooking it has been a miracle. After clearing the plates (the children eat bugger all as was expected, at least the dogs will be happy) I enter the dining room with the huge “trout kettle” and place it on the table, always an impressive moment as the lid is removed sending wafts of wine filled steam across the table towards the seated guests, the children have again disappeared and one of the adults is missing, so I cut into the trout and serve it into adult and child size portions and leave the rest in the centre of the table for them to help themselves, and so it goes on all through the meal, children running around, people missing each course getting later and later as we’re forced to wait for “the group”, the whole evening is a nightmare, dinner finished at 11pm and we finally end up getting to bed at two in the morning having waited up until the last of them has gone up to bed. Oh and they also announce that two of the adults would like an early breakfast at 7am as they would like to go fishing and the rest of them will be down at 10:30, “no problem” I say “goodnight, sleep well”
Next morning one of the two guys who had asked for breakfast at 7 turned up at 8:30 ( after I’d got up at 5;45 to get breakfast ready for them) saying they had decided not to go fishing and to have a lie in instead, so he goes back to bed and I’m left with two wasted breakfasts, the two Belgians come down at 8:45 and while chatting to them I ask if they will be joining us for dinner this evening, “not if the other group is” they say “yes I’m afraid they are” I reply.
So we’re left with an unimpressed Belgian couple.
Finally at 10:30 and nearly all the group are down for breakfast or is it lunch !, after 20 minutes of undecidedness as to what the group are going to have to drink I make my way into the kitchen to prepare them and an image of Basil Fawlty jumping up and down like a frog with his arms over his head enters my thoughts.

]]>Sunday 28/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/28/sunday_28_08~146896/2005-08-28T06:36:49+02:00 <p>“No alcohol tonight thank you” the guy in green said whilst I was pouring some local “eau de vie” for an aperitif “ I’ll have a beer instead” he says and then proceeded to order a bottle of Bordeaux red with dinner.<br> Its amazing even in this day and age of alcohol awareness that the French do not consider beer and wine to be alcohol, its only spirits that are considered alcoholic, its all put down to the process of manufacture, beer and wine are fermented and therefore not deemed to be alcohol as opposed to whisky etc which is distilled therefore it is considered to be alcohol.<br> Try telling the gendarme that you haven’t consumed any alcohol when you’re over the limit on wine and beer, I’m sure they’ll just throw you in prison to ….ferment…. for a while.<br> The amounts of alcoholic beverages that are consumed at lunchtime by lorry drivers and the likes at restos with their plat du jour is incredible, and to my knowledge no study has been done in France of accidents on the roads and in the workplace in the afternoons, maybe if such a department exists it should do one.<br> France is in many ways like England was twenty-five/thirty years ago which I think is why it has such an appeal to some brits.<br> Don’t tell anyone but if ever you wanted to commit a crime in France, do it between 12:00 and 14:00 as all the police are probably enjoying their lunchtime litre also.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/28/sunday_28_08~146896/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>“No alcohol tonight thank you” the guy in green said whilst I was pouring some local “eau de vie” for an aperitif “ I’ll have a beer instead” he says and then proceeded to order a bottle of Bordeaux red with dinner.
Its amazing even in this day and age of alcohol awareness that the French do not consider beer and wine to be alcohol, its only spirits that are considered alcoholic, its all put down to the process of manufacture, beer and wine are fermented and therefore not deemed to be alcohol as opposed to whisky etc which is distilled therefore it is considered to be alcohol.
Try telling the gendarme that you haven’t consumed any alcohol when you’re over the limit on wine and beer, I’m sure they’ll just throw you in prison to ….ferment…. for a while.
The amounts of alcoholic beverages that are consumed at lunchtime by lorry drivers and the likes at restos with their plat du jour is incredible, and to my knowledge no study has been done in France of accidents on the roads and in the workplace in the afternoons, maybe if such a department exists it should do one.
France is in many ways like England was twenty-five/thirty years ago which I think is why it has such an appeal to some brits.
Don’t tell anyone but if ever you wanted to commit a crime in France, do it between 12:00 and 14:00 as all the police are probably enjoying their lunchtime litre also.

]]>Saturday 27/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/saturday_27_08~145291/2005-08-27T07:34:33+02:00 <p>I was in bigcity the other day buying amongst other things a length of plastic pipe, I was told by Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer to go to a particular supplier, when I got there it turns out that they specialize in selling plastic septic tanks as well as pipes, guess what the name of the company was called ……………M.T.P.<br> ………oui, oui, I hear you saying.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/saturday_27_08~145291/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I was in bigcity the other day buying amongst other things a length of plastic pipe, I was told by Jean-Pierre our loyal retainer to go to a particular supplier, when I got there it turns out that they specialize in selling plastic septic tanks as well as pipes, guess what the name of the company was called ……………M.T.P.
………oui, oui, I hear you saying.

]]>Friday 26/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/friday_26_08~142948/2005-08-26T06:36:47+02:00 <p>I must admit I’m amazed by the amount of drugs and pills our French “guests” take, they seem to either have loads of shit wrong with them or they’ll all hypochondriacs, every morning the breakfast table is littered with gleaming little pill boxes and rows upon rows of brightly coloured little tablets, the small fridges (which we clean daily) in our “guest” suites are packed to bursting with medical stuff, syringes and fluids and tablets and powders, sprays lotions etc etc, I’m amazed the owners have time to go out and do stuff, you can imagine them all injecting spraying and applying all this crap, must take at least an hour every day, but I guess if it keeps them happy and alive…….<br> One woman today at breakfast was saying how she had overdone her walking yesterday and had to get some tablets from the chemists to relieve her aching limbs.<br> We’ve got some Americans coming in today and I was wondering if there were any tablets I could buy to relieve a pain in the arse !!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/friday_26_08~142948/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I must admit I’m amazed by the amount of drugs and pills our French “guests” take, they seem to either have loads of shit wrong with them or they’ll all hypochondriacs, every morning the breakfast table is littered with gleaming little pill boxes and rows upon rows of brightly coloured little tablets, the small fridges (which we clean daily) in our “guest” suites are packed to bursting with medical stuff, syringes and fluids and tablets and powders, sprays lotions etc etc, I’m amazed the owners have time to go out and do stuff, you can imagine them all injecting spraying and applying all this crap, must take at least an hour every day, but I guess if it keeps them happy and alive…….
One woman today at breakfast was saying how she had overdone her walking yesterday and had to get some tablets from the chemists to relieve her aching limbs.
We’ve got some Americans coming in today and I was wondering if there were any tablets I could buy to relieve a pain in the arse !!

]]>Thursday 25/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/25/thursday_25_08~140929/2005-08-25T06:28:11+02:00 <p>They sell some strange stuff at the market in bigtown, I was down there the other day and there was this woman trying to sell me a dried sausage made with donkey meat !!.<br> Tripe as well, the locals are horrified when I tell them I feed it to the dogs, how a nation can get so exited about eating pigs feet and noses and such crap I’ll never know, maybe someone forgot to tell them that the second world wars over and decent meat is now available.<br> If it can crawl out of a ditch the French will eat it !!.<br> They all know me down at the market as I use it regularly, all the stuff is very fresh and of a good quality and at a reasonable price, they now refer to our place as “Le Chateau Anglais” and a trip to the market usually entails a few glasses of wine with Benoit the cheese man, he produces the best cheeses I’ve ever tasted, and has about thirty different types on display. One thing he does for the tourists, quite often he has an old manky bit of cheese left over that the locals wouldn’t touch and he sells it to the tourists at twice the price saying its an old well matured speciality of the area, Yes I fell for it once until he realized how much money I was going to be spending with him each year, now we’re the best of friends and he even delivers if I don’t have time to get to the market, its funny how his deliveries coincide with aperitif time though, he quite often winds up our “guests” telling them stories of how his famous blue ewes cheese is made from the brightly painted blue sheep that can be seen roaming around in the valley. He’s a true salesman and before he leaves he always ends up selling someone a lump of cheese or a home cured ham or something.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/25/thursday_25_08~140929/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>They sell some strange stuff at the market in bigtown, I was down there the other day and there was this woman trying to sell me a dried sausage made with donkey meat !!.
Tripe as well, the locals are horrified when I tell them I feed it to the dogs, how a nation can get so exited about eating pigs feet and noses and such crap I’ll never know, maybe someone forgot to tell them that the second world wars over and decent meat is now available.
If it can crawl out of a ditch the French will eat it !!.
They all know me down at the market as I use it regularly, all the stuff is very fresh and of a good quality and at a reasonable price, they now refer to our place as “Le Chateau Anglais” and a trip to the market usually entails a few glasses of wine with Benoit the cheese man, he produces the best cheeses I’ve ever tasted, and has about thirty different types on display. One thing he does for the tourists, quite often he has an old manky bit of cheese left over that the locals wouldn’t touch and he sells it to the tourists at twice the price saying its an old well matured speciality of the area, Yes I fell for it once until he realized how much money I was going to be spending with him each year, now we’re the best of friends and he even delivers if I don’t have time to get to the market, its funny how his deliveries coincide with aperitif time though, he quite often winds up our “guests” telling them stories of how his famous blue ewes cheese is made from the brightly painted blue sheep that can be seen roaming around in the valley. He’s a true salesman and before he leaves he always ends up selling someone a lump of cheese or a home cured ham or something.

]]>wednesday 24/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/24/wednesday_24_08_05/2005-08-24T06:40:16+02:00 <p>“Yes we slept well thanks” said the old French couple in yellow, I thought carefully about asking whether his lion had slept as well as they did, because last night whilst I was waiting for some late arrivals I could hear this occasional deep guttural roar coming from their room which sounded remarkably like a mature male lion staking its claim to its territory. As usual I let it pass without comment, although I thought about mentioning our no animals policy or even adding a lion surcharge to their bill, but no.</p> <p> Its quite hilarious the noises you hear coming from behind closed doors – not that we listen I hasten to add, its just that these old walls and doors weren’t designed to be soundproof – we just bite our tongues and live with it.</p> <p>I apologise if most of my blog entries are rants and moans but this place is great for that kind of thing, where else can you get free therapy, space to vent your daily frustrations. Nobody reads these things anyway …………<br> Do they ???</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/24/wednesday_24_08_05/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>“Yes we slept well thanks” said the old French couple in yellow, I thought carefully about asking whether his lion had slept as well as they did, because last night whilst I was waiting for some late arrivals I could hear this occasional deep guttural roar coming from their room which sounded remarkably like a mature male lion staking its claim to its territory. As usual I let it pass without comment, although I thought about mentioning our no animals policy or even adding a lion surcharge to their bill, but no.

Its quite hilarious the noises you hear coming from behind closed doors – not that we listen I hasten to add, its just that these old walls and doors weren’t designed to be soundproof – we just bite our tongues and live with it.

I apologise if most of my blog entries are rants and moans but this place is great for that kind of thing, where else can you get free therapy, space to vent your daily frustrations. Nobody reads these things anyway …………
Do they ???

]]>Tuesday 23/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/23/tuesday_23_08_05/2005-08-23T06:50:42+02:00 <p>One-nighters….. why don’t you just bog off and use hotels instead.<br> Hotels are geared up to cope with you traveling from place to place one night here one night there, hotels have in their stocks hundreds of sets of bed linen which then go off to be industrially cleaned, pressed / ironed, they employ hoards of staff to cater for your specific needs such as arriving after midnight and then staying in bed until 11:00 having a late leisurely breakfast then departing during lunchtime.<br> For those of us who run a b&b you are an absolute pain in the backside and can you please think of us before you decide to “give us your custom” to be honest we don’t want it, no never, we would rather have an empty room or a totally empty house than have you here.<br> The work involved is tremendous when you think that it’s usually just a couple running the whole show, doing all the work. We’re lucky to have two washing machines and two sets of bed linen / towels for each room. Everyday as it is, is spent washing and ironing things.<br> Today its been raining all day and the forecast is for more of the same for the next two days, do you realise because of all you one-nighters in over the last few days I had to go to bigcity today and buy another tumble dryer to cope with the extra workload you’ve created, so any profit we may have made has now been lost. </p> <p>NEXT TIME GO AND STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/23/tuesday_23_08_05/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>One-nighters….. why don’t you just bog off and use hotels instead.
Hotels are geared up to cope with you traveling from place to place one night here one night there, hotels have in their stocks hundreds of sets of bed linen which then go off to be industrially cleaned, pressed / ironed, they employ hoards of staff to cater for your specific needs such as arriving after midnight and then staying in bed until 11:00 having a late leisurely breakfast then departing during lunchtime.
For those of us who run a b&b you are an absolute pain in the backside and can you please think of us before you decide to “give us your custom” to be honest we don’t want it, no never, we would rather have an empty room or a totally empty house than have you here.
The work involved is tremendous when you think that it’s usually just a couple running the whole show, doing all the work. We’re lucky to have two washing machines and two sets of bed linen / towels for each room. Everyday as it is, is spent washing and ironing things.
Today its been raining all day and the forecast is for more of the same for the next two days, do you realise because of all you one-nighters in over the last few days I had to go to bigcity today and buy another tumble dryer to cope with the extra workload you’ve created, so any profit we may have made has now been lost.

NEXT TIME GO AND STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE.

]]>Monday 22/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/monday_22_08_05/2005-08-22T06:29:05+02:00 <p>Not long to go now 15th September and we can close.Looking forward to our holidays, going to have a couple of weeks here sleeping and doing a bit of outside maintenance then its three weeks in the Seychelles, this’ll be the second time we’ve been there and this time we’re going to stay on some of the less inhabited islands, enjoy a bit of peace and quiet, endless white beaches with not a soul in sight, crystal clear warm turquoise waters to swim in. One of the islands has a guest house which we’ll be staying at as it’s the only accommodation on the island, max 12 guests so I guess it’ll be a bit like a busmans’ holiday for us.<br> Still it’ll be interesting seeing it from the “guests” point of view for a change.<br> While we’re on holiday we’re having the builders in to do some renovations to the guest wing, we’re doing up the second and third floors and they’re coming in to do all the structural stuff, knock out some walls and chimney breasts, put in some doorways etc, and no before you ask I’m not going to bore you all with a blow by blow blog of all the renovation works.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/22/monday_22_08_05/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Not long to go now 15th September and we can close.Looking forward to our holidays, going to have a couple of weeks here sleeping and doing a bit of outside maintenance then its three weeks in the Seychelles, this’ll be the second time we’ve been there and this time we’re going to stay on some of the less inhabited islands, enjoy a bit of peace and quiet, endless white beaches with not a soul in sight, crystal clear warm turquoise waters to swim in. One of the islands has a guest house which we’ll be staying at as it’s the only accommodation on the island, max 12 guests so I guess it’ll be a bit like a busmans’ holiday for us.
Still it’ll be interesting seeing it from the “guests” point of view for a change.
While we’re on holiday we’re having the builders in to do some renovations to the guest wing, we’re doing up the second and third floors and they’re coming in to do all the structural stuff, knock out some walls and chimney breasts, put in some doorways etc, and no before you ask I’m not going to bore you all with a blow by blow blog of all the renovation works.

]]>Sunday 21/08/05 #2http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/21/sunday_21_08_05_2/2005-08-21T11:01:56+02:00 <p>Well this is not what I came to the south of France for<br> Snow in August, what’s that all about then.</p> <p>Yesterday was very cold, well, down to about 15 degrees here, more like a Scottish summer than the 35 degrees of the southern plains that we’ve become accustomed to. </p> <p> Looking across to the west now that the clouds have cleared I can see fresh snow at around 2100m, that’s around 6,900 feet in old money. I commented on this to our loyal retainer Jean-Pierre and he told me about one August when he was a lad he remembers sledging down the hill in the village to get some bread.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/21/sunday_21_08_05_2/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Well this is not what I came to the south of France for
Snow in August, what’s that all about then.

Yesterday was very cold, well, down to about 15 degrees here, more like a Scottish summer than the 35 degrees of the southern plains that we’ve become accustomed to.

Looking across to the west now that the clouds have cleared I can see fresh snow at around 2100m, that’s around 6,900 feet in old money. I commented on this to our loyal retainer Jean-Pierre and he told me about one August when he was a lad he remembers sledging down the hill in the village to get some bread.

]]>Sunday 21/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/21/sunday_21_08_05/2005-08-21T07:06:31+02:00 <p>“07:20 if its not raining and 08:30 if it is” came the response for my usual question of “what time would you like breakfast tomorrow morning ?” to the single woman staying in “yellow”<br> (everybody else has asked for 08:30 and 09:00 breakfasts)</p> <p>What !!!!</p> <p>So let me get this right, If she wakes up at say 7:00 and its raining, she will stay in bed until 08:00 and come down for breakfast at 08:30.<br> If it isn’t raining at 07:00 when she wakes then she will come down for breakfast at 07:20</p> <p>Right……….</p> <p>So I have to wake at 05:45 to prepare the breakfast table, get fresh bread, warm croissants etc ready and have it on the table for 07:20, now if it should start raining around 07:00, I should do what exactly, go back to bed and wake again at 08:00 to prepare another breakfast for 08:30.<br> Or do I just stay in bed until 08:00 and hope it rains ???</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/21/sunday_21_08_05/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>“07:20 if its not raining and 08:30 if it is” came the response for my usual question of “what time would you like breakfast tomorrow morning ?” to the single woman staying in “yellow”
(everybody else has asked for 08:30 and 09:00 breakfasts)

What !!!!

So let me get this right, If she wakes up at say 7:00 and its raining, she will stay in bed until 08:00 and come down for breakfast at 08:30.
If it isn’t raining at 07:00 when she wakes then she will come down for breakfast at 07:20

Right……….

So I have to wake at 05:45 to prepare the breakfast table, get fresh bread, warm croissants etc ready and have it on the table for 07:20, now if it should start raining around 07:00, I should do what exactly, go back to bed and wake again at 08:00 to prepare another breakfast for 08:30.
Or do I just stay in bed until 08:00 and hope it rains ???

]]>Saturday 20/08/05http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/20/saturday_20_08_05/2005-08-20T06:38:23+02:00 <p>The temperatures have been up in the mid thirties,as usual for this time of year although we’ve recently had a few showers so the grass has been growing nicely, I’ve spent the last couple of afternoons mowing the lawns with the sitdown tractor mower, a proper boys toy if ever there was one, 4wd , 7 levels of cut, 6 forward, 3 reverse gears, various hitches for trailers and blade attachments, you can put on spiked tyres and a roller thing and just drive up and down aeriating (sp) the lawn, cool eh!!, can even attach a snow plough to it if ever I should need to.<br> It was one of the first things I bought when we moved into the chateau. I’d love to spend the warm evenings using it as it can get very hot during the day but we have “guests” taking dinner with us 6 out of 7 nights, and the other night, well it’s a gyn and tonic on the west terrace followed by a light salad and a bottle of something to wash it down however this week we’ve invited some English friends who live about 20km away in bigtown round for a few drinks and adult conversation, by adult conversation I mean “in English”, you know just normal everyday chat. Its difficult to have an adult conversation in French, well with our level of French it is, you see we have the same conversations over and over again with our French guests, we steer the evenings chat to subjects that we can talk about with reasonable clarity, however I’m forever going off on a tangent (surprising eh!) and digging myself into a hole with the language, so it will be nice to speak English to some other people for a change.<br> I’m sure anybody who’s lived in a foreign country for any length of time where their mother tongue isn’t widely used will know exactly what I’m talking about</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://bedandbreakfastinfrance.blog.co.uk/2005/08/20/saturday_20_08_05/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>The temperatures have been up in the mid thirties,as usual for this time of year although we’ve recently had a few showers so the grass has been growing nicely, I’ve spent the last couple of afternoons mowing the lawns with the sitdown tractor mower, a proper boys toy if ever there was one, 4wd , 7 levels of cut, 6 forward, 3 reverse gears, various hitches for trailers and blade attachments, you can put on spiked tyres and a roller thing and just drive up and down aeriating (sp) the lawn, cool eh!!, can even attach a snow plough to it if ever I should need to.
It was one of the first things I bought when we moved into the chateau. I’d love to spend the warm evenings using it as it can get very hot during the day but we have “guests” taking dinner with us 6 out of 7 nights, and the other night, well it’s a gyn and tonic on the west terrace followed by a light salad and a bottle of something to wash it down however this week we’ve invited some English friends who live about 20km away in bigtown round for a few drinks and adult conversation, by adult conversation I mean “in English”, you know just normal everyday chat. Its difficult to have an adult conversation in French, well with our level of French it is, you see we have the same conversations over and over again with our French guests, we steer the evenings chat to subjects that we can talk about with reasonable clarity, however I’m forever going off on a tangent (surprising eh!) and digging myself into a hole with the language, so it will be nice to speak English to some other people for a change.
I’m sure anybody who’s lived in a foreign country for any length of time where their mother tongue isn’t widely used will know exactly what I’m talking about

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